Cougar-rific

Gents, my latest thing are cougars.  Yeah, I'm probably late to the party, but better late than never.  They are like a breath of fresh air.

Want to get laid without all of the associated bullshit of chasing women?  Want the path of least resistance into her pants?

Then you want a cougar.  Let me tell you, a recently divorced woman is the absolutely easiest woman in the world to bone.  Show up, get laid.  It really is that simple.  True, you may sacrifice a little in quality, but the value is off the chart.  There won't be any need for expensive dinners, lots of attention, drama, games or anything else.  Chances are she has kids and no time for all of that nonsense and just wants to cut right to the chase.  She's been locked up for how many years and wants to make up for it.  Sex is no longer a currency to an older woman - they have needs and aren't afraid to get them fulfilled. 

It's like a breath of fresh air, I tell ya.

Example: So, I started speaking with this late-30's, recently divorced woman on Match.com the other day.  I dropped a little hint on her in the first e-mail - noting that she looked like trouble.  This phrase is a winner, by the way.  Call 'em trouble and they eat it up.  Anyway, she started with the innuendos immediately thereafter and mentioned something about sleeping naked.  So, I tell her that I always sleep naked on my 600-thread count sheets.  She says that she should check that out, so I invite her over to do so.  She comes over on a Tuesday night and one glass of Pinot later we're going for it.  She had skills, too.  Afterward, she had to bail to get back to her kids.  The ideal situation for a guy!

Granted, we were at my place, which is something that I ordinarily discourage.  However, with a cougar it's almost a given that you'll have to host since she usually has kids at home.  So what.  She'll extract herself relatively quickly, so it isn't a big issue.  Cougars with kids (aka MILFs) are the best, since they aren't facing a biological clock to produce offspring.  They're often just as determined as you are not to get pregnant.  Note: beware the cougar with NO kids.  Make absolutely sure you wear a condom (you should be anyway!  Try the new Trojans below - they really are the shit. Though the shape is kinda funny they feel MUCH better) since you don't really know whether she's looking for a sperm donor with an 18-year annuity until it's waaaay too late.  Some genuinely are not looking to have kids, but trust them on that at your peril.

Anyway, match.com is a treasure trove of these women.  Let them know that you think maturity is sexy and you bet they have some skills.  They'll fall over themselves to show you.  It's the easiest you'll ever get.