What to Look for in a Woman: The Big Three (TM)

In business school the big three of products/components in the supply chain/etc. are:
1. Quality
2. Time
3. Price
Now, choose any two.

The truth of the matter is that getting any two of the three is very easy, but getting all three is damn near impossible.  For example, I can procure a top-quality component tomorrow - but only if I'm willing to pay significantly more in the process.

So, why the b-school lesson?  It reminded me of a conversation that I recently had with my mom.

Like most unmarried guys in their mid-30's, my mother gives me shit for generally not staying in any long term relationships - which of course would lead to marriage and children.  I thought about what kind of woman it would take to make me give up my current bachelorhood and want to spend the rest of my life with her. Frankly, I'm pretty happy with my lifestyle.  But, if I were to go the distance with one woman, what qualities would she have to possess?  In no particular order, I've come up with my own Big Three(TM):

1. Intelligence.  This means she can hold a conversation, spell, know the difference between your, you're, to, too, quite, quite, lose, loose, etc.  While it sounds trivial, this type of shit drives me insane.  I also count some sort of logic as necessary.  A career, or genuine progress toward one, is also required.  If her highest goal in life is to be a wife and a mommy, then she will have to find someone else to fund her dreams.  Also, with intelligence comes humor (usually) and I definitely count humor as part of this requirement.  The majority of the time these sorts of people have college degrees, but that's not a dealbreaker, per se.  As far as I'm concerned, a little nerdy is a desirable thing.

2. Sweetness. This means that she cares about others and doesn't think the world revolves around her.  High maintenance, spoiled, entitled women drive me absolutely batshit crazy.  There is 0% chance of me doing anything beyond banging a chick that believes the heaviest thing she should have to lift is several carats worth of wedding ring.  No chance.  It also means that she cares about the little things, like when I need some alone time, or buys me dinner for a change.  "More than words" is more than just a cheesy tune.  Interestingly enough, this can actually go too far - too much sweetness is often tied to too little self-confidence, which becomes co-dependence.  She needs to have her own life as well.  As with most everything in life, the middle path is best here.

3. Charisma. So, this is my all-inclusive term for attraction.  I use "charisma" rather than something like "physical attraction" because it implies more than just looks.  It includes things like mannerisms and style.  Attraction is a funny thing - it can't be defined exactly.  However, you'll never be able to go long-term with someone who doesn't turn you on.  For me, I prefer the girl-next-door type, looks wise.  It's different for every guy. However, I encourage guys to consider dating someone that they are "giving a chance" in the looks department, rather than only the ones who are obviously hot.  Believe it or not, people do grow on you, so it's worth giving a try.

The problem with this list?  It's the same problem as the b-school list.  Pick any two, because finding a woman with all three is like searching for peace in the Middle East.  Hell, if you do find her you should marry her!

The past couple of women that I have been with have fallen into the Charisma/Intelligence category but failed the Sweetness test.  The one before that had the Intelligence and a little too much Sweetness, but failed the Charisma.  I tried to give her a chance, but after a month I just couldn't go any further. 

At any rate, I actually feel better having been able to somewhat quantify these requirements.  Plus, it makes sense to anyone with half a brain and is much easier to explain to Mom than telling her you just enjoy being a player!