The Friend Zone, Part 1

Why, "let's just be friends" is your clue that you're doing it wrong and how to cross out of the friend zone.

Rule #1: Women want (therefore, are attracted to) what they can't (or think they can't) have. This is a crucial point, so let me repeat it: women WANT what they CAN'T have. If they think that they can have you at any time, they won't want you sexually.

If you want to have sex with a woman, being her friend is - bar none - the absolute WORST way to go about accomplishing that goal. Why? Because friends are available. Remember rule #1? Statistically speaking, you crossing from the friend zone into her panties has an incredibly low probability of happening. If it does, it will likely be under duress (i.e. drinking, trauma, etc.) and nothing good will come of it. Is it bad to have women as friends? Not at all. It can be a fascinating insight and a great source of intel. Just make up your mind from day one that you'll never want to bang her. If you're already her friend, you can basically forget about being her lover.

Why? Well, let's examine the dynamic. Quite simply, she holds all the power. In this situation, the man is providing for her needs of companionship, validation, attention and counsel - all things that she values very highly, but he does not. Since he doesn't value these things that he provides to her, he gives them to her freely and she will never be required to pay for them with sex - the thing he does value. She's perfectly happy with this arrangement, of course. She's basically getting something for nothing. He gets frustration in return.

So, how do you avoid the friend zone in the first place? Well, let's take one step back first. If you focus all of your attention on one woman then you are available to her. See Rule #1. Make sure you parcel your attention out to women in small quantities, always with time restraints. You want to be seen as in-demand, busy and unavailable. Why? See Rule #1! Don't try to solve all of her problems, don't 'be there for her', definitely don't take all of her calls or return v-mails and texts promptly. Women are attracted to drama and mystery. Add a little of that into your world - even if it's purely fictional.

Ah, now the big question: how do I start banging a chick that I'm friends with? Remember, the possibility of this happening is miniscule. Tiny. Microscopic. However, if you want to have a go at it... First, you must not be afraid to ruin the friendship completely, because that's a likely outcome whether you actually do the deed or not. If this bothers you, then you're stuck, dude. Go on being her friend and find other chicks to bang (which you should be doing anyway!). Completely remove the thought of having sex with her from your head. This isn't easy - honestly, there's only one woman in my world that I feel this way about. She's actually smokin' hot and everyone else wants her and thinks I'm lame. But, she means the world to me and I'd never want to ruin the awesome friendship that we have.

If you're willing to risk it, then congrats, as your ability to remove her from a pedestal is going to go a long way toward your goal.

to be continued...